I am leaving...

I am going to leave my work as soon as possible. Macam da tak maknanya working in this kind of environment. I want to look for a better career. Memang sayang nak tinggalkan budak-budak sini tapi apa leh buat, life has to move on. I guess this year I keep losing my loved ones. I pray that I could be strong to go through all this....

RINDU!!!

Rindu sangat-sangat dengan arwah nenek. Hari ini genap lah 6 bulan dia pergi tinggalkan kita. Ingin sahaja aku pekik dan luahkan, NENEK, ANI RINDU SANGAT-SANGAT NGAN NENEK!!!!!

Salam Ramadhan

Selamat berpuasa semua. Tahun ni sedih kerana nenek telah pergi meninggalkan kita. Kadang-kadang aku rasa marah dan ada kalanya aku menangis sendirian. Mengenangkan nenek yang telah pergi menyahut seruaan illahi. Aku rindu sangat dengan dia. Dia banyak mendengar rintihan aku. Walau macam mana pun kehidupan ini akan diteruskan.

Masih Mencari..

Dalam aku mencari erti sebenarnya kehidupan ini. Aku sedar bahawa kehidupan tidaklah seindah mana. Dalam aku mencari erti sebenarnya kasih dan sayang, aku sedar bahawa kasih dan sayang yang aku cari telah lama hilang. Maafkan aku kerana kau telah banyak mengajar aku namun masa itu aku tidak sedar sebenarnya kau lah untuk ku.

Maafkan aku kerana lepaskan kau pergi. Hingga kini kau masih dalam ingatan ku. Aku sedar aku tidak akan jumpa lagi dengan orang yang sebaik kau.

Aku masih mencari.

3 months passed.

Today mark the 3rd month, she left us. I feel like yesterday I just saw her and talk to her. She will always be remembered and she always remained in my heart now and forever..

Mother's Day???

It's Mother's Day tomorrow and ya I don't want to think about it or celebrate it. To me mother's day means nothing anymore. It's not that I don't have a mother. I still have a mother. But I don't know whether to treat her as my mother or a stranger.

It is never same afer grandma left us, everything change. I become very quiet, I only talk when it is necessary. Last year was the last year we celebrated Mother's day with grandma. I didn't know she's going to leave us.

Grandma, if you could hear me. I wanna wish you Happy Mother's Day and I miss you so much. You had been a wonderful grandma and the best grandma in the world that I could ever get. No one could replace you not even mum.

I know everytime I update this blog it's all about grandma. I can't accept the fact that she is no longer with us. She's been taking care of me since the first day I see this world. And now the pain I am suffering, I suffer alone.

Sickening!!

It is just sickening when people accused you for doing things that you never do!!!!!!!